Graduation

As I scrolled down my Facebook newsfeed, I saw a posting from an old friend of mine that posed the question -"Why am I always so emotional at this time every year?" It's funny...graduation time always makes me feel that way too. I look back at that day on the football field with fondness... all of us kids thinking that we had finally made it. For years, I would watch graduations from afar. The pomp, the circumstance, always seemed like it was nothing but a distant dream. A beautiful, dream, with long flowing gowns and silly hats. And although you realize on some level that this tradition may look a little silly, you were more than thrilled at the prospect that some day, as long as you didn't stray too far off course, you too would get to be a part of the time honored tradition.
There is a common energy that floats around every small town and big city towards the end of May and beginning of June. It's an energy that radiates possibility, and the promise of tomorrow. It is one of closure and camaraderie. Graduation is a snapshot day, one of the few in your life where you look at your past and your future in the same picture. It is a day when you cry happy tears. You gain freedom from feeling safe, secure, and nurtured. And, while the vision of your future life is thrilling, leaving that bubble is often a bit scary.
I, myself always had a very vivid picture of what my future life would entail. And although it was all I had ever dreamed of, I had no idea of just how much fear would get in the way of those dreams. You see, in my mind, I was a big city girl. The problem was that my heart was big, and it was as country as it gets. I was a small town girl, with big city dreams. But what happens when your heart and your head are on two different pages?
In my experience, the heart always wins. So, I look at this years crop of graduates, as I do every year, and wonder where my life would be had I stuck to my original plan. The one that I was so adamant about, that is until its reality was staring me harshly in the face. I could beat myself up on a daily basis, and maybe on some level, I do. But, consciously, I instead try to focus on the plan that the universe had for me. More importantly, the plan it had for my three wonderful girls. Had life gone according to "plan"...these three unique spirits wouldn't be coloring the world with their greatness. Yes, maybe I would have still had children, but not "these" children. So, maybe my purpose was greater than ME. Maybe it is ok to follow your heart. That said, when the merriment of commencement commences, don't look back with regret. You are right where you are meant to be. And for those of you waiting to toss your proverbial hat in the air, think BALANCE. Your heart and head are meant to work together.

Getting Ready to Graduate

"10yr Reunion"

"20yr" Reunion"

These are my thoughts...On Life So Far. Happy Graduation, Jen